This past week or so has been a very trying time for me. I was just feeling like life is just like a roller coaster…the tracks are built for your cart to go up and down and when you are on the ride while it is down, you anticipate the going up! It has to go up and as slow as it may take it to go up, you know it is going to go up. These very words I had to give to a blogger friend today, but as I was typing it for them I realized I needed it for myself as well! Life is just funny like that. We go through all of these life rhythms and even though you feel like you might be off beat, there is always that point when you eventually have rhythm. It’s at these times where your faith has to be in tact. I was reading one of my favorite blogs ispygod today and she gave me that boost I needed to get back on track. As I was reading her post, all I could think about was Matthew 17:20….having Faith as small as a Mustard Seed.
Keeping the Faith, Believing, Prayer and Knowing that we can increase any and all areas of our lives with just that simple formula. Prior to writing this post, I decided to reread one of my many journals. I would be lost without a journal….a pen/pencil and paper is like my therapeutic realm. I collect journals not only because I love to write, but because I have to write; my thoughts, feelings, conversations with God, songs, poems, short stories, things to do lists(that’s another post within itself) or just to doodle is just how serious it is for me to have a journal handy at all times. As I was reading one of my journals, I came across a Journal Entry dated October 18, 2009:
These days my mind has been so full! There is just so much that is swarming around in my head and it is not any bad things. Today as I was getting my brakes done, the guy that was fixing them said to me, “I don’t hear any music, but you are surely rocking back and forth and that tells me that you are a happy person!” That made me feel extra good and put an even bigger smile on my face. I am happy, happier than I have ever been in a long time. I feel so at peace. It almost feels like I have this big secret that only you and I know about. I just want to scream and shout and just get my praise on and tell everyone I come across just how awesome you are. I was so upset that I couldn’t go to church today, but unfortunately my brakes gave out as I was pulling out of the driveway. So, I know there is a reason for that protection. Lord please continue to guide me and help me to make sound decisions spiritually, mentally, financially, and even physically. I thank you for your grace and mercy and patience. I thank you for all the blessings that you have blessed me with and will bless me with. All I ask is to be blessed to be a blessing to others. Thank you for all of my family, loved ones, and friends! I love you!
In Jesus Name,
So, you see Life is full of rhythm and even when we get off beat, we can always find our way back and get right back in tune with the beat!! Reading my journal entry from 2 years ago really made me smile because it is so me to always rock back and forth because there is always music in my head. I truly fit the phrase, “Dancing to the beat of my own Drum.” It’s almost as if I am having a special dance with God because he is my leading man!!