When I was in 10th grade I decided I would join my school’s annual pageant. We had to perform a “talent” as one of the elements to be judged during the competition. I racked my brain at first trying to figure out what I would do. Finally I decided I would do a poem….a skit. It was befitting. See, even then I loved to write and I loved poetry. Instead of writing my own I decided to present one of my favorite poems by the wonderful Maya Angelou…..”Phenomenal Woman”. The words alone exuded exactly what I needed to convey. I didn’t win that pageant, but to be able to share such powerful words to people who might not have ever heard of Maya Angelou was a winner in my book!
~Rest in Peace Maya Angelou~
“Phenomenal Woman, That’s you.”
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Today I began with a heavy heart full of conviction. Today I was on a quest to not allow anyone or anything rupture my spirit. I started my day with listening to Christian Music Artist Sherrie McCrary’s rendition of Walter Hawkins “Marvelous”. Hearing her beautiful voice always wraps me in the spirit. It was exactly what I needed for my morning worship and praise session. Even though I stumbled a couple of times throughout the day and the enemy tried to rob me of my peace, I made it to today’s end. My night has ended with more praise and worship because I am thankful for all of the marvelous things that he has done.
“no one else could do it.
no one could care half as much.
Yet you thought my soul was worth it.
So you gave. Your only son.
you gave that i might live.
you gave that i might be set free.
exchanged your life for mine.
What a Marvelous thing you’ve done.
Some folks see my faults.
Lord you see my accomplishments.
Even the good work you have begun in me.
you also see my finish.
No not half done.
every battle already won.
i can’t help but praise you lord.
for the marvelous things you’ve done.
***You can find more music from Christian Music Artist Sherrie McCary on youtube and look out for her anticipated debut album “Breakthrough” coming soon!***
Traveling down the trail of life
Rough patches heavily worn
The looking lens bear no resemblances
The tattered mirror reveals the emptiness
Dare I nudge the conflicted connection
Wait…..there lies no reflection
Swaying between the fact and fiction
Teetering without a mission
Where this train stops, there ain’t no telling
Mind Battered and wounded
Wrapped up tightly it stays bounded
Forceful grin to he who looks within
The only thing that captivates me is the desire to win
Constraints to stay sane
To mask the constant pain
The struggling tributes that stain
The mere existence brings rain
Trudging through the mud
How did it flood?
Walking blindly through the obstacles
Feeling bare backed without a cover
Quick…..somebody hide me
Daring to break free
Hidden solutions taunt me often
Thoughts of the internal fire outweigh the sin
11:13 means more than what the clock reads
It’s life over death
The ending to begin
The trump card to all that fell behind
Learning and relating
Relating to learn
Saying yes to the task
That had already begun
And as rambled as this all seemed
Somehow, somebody just might believe the dream
***I’ve been trying to get this post out for the last 15 days, but finally here it is***
2013 sucked! Okay, Okay…..I know that sounds a bit harsh, but it’s true. 2013 had some highs, but oh did it have some lows! 2013 was like a roller coaster and I surely felt when it would incline and the gut wrenching drops. The best part about it is, you know the roller coaster will eventually stop and as you unbuckle your seat belt, you smile and walk away with a t-shirt bearing the words, “I survived to tell the story.”
2013 was a year of plentiful lessons that needed to be taught and lessons that needed to be learned. I can raise my hand confidently and say I received both. The biggest lesson for me was patience, understanding, and most of all……growth. I learned just how strong I was and boy I thought I knew my own strength. I accomplished a few small goals and I gained a few long-term goals. But most of all……I made it!!
Of all the things I learned in 2013, here are 13 things that stood out and gave me the biggest lessons:
1. Just because it sounds good in my head and even look great on paper, it still doesn’t mean it will happen that way.
Earlier in 2013(January) I moved back to Georgia without my Husband because I got transferred through my job. The plan had been I would get here and continue working and by the end of the month, he would be here with a job. Clearly we both missed the memo because He didn’t arrive until August.
2. Just How much I loved my Husband
I love my Husband clearly because I married him, but being separate from my Husband for those 8 months was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Even though we were visiting back and forth between South Carolina and Georgia, it wasn’t enough. I really missed my husband. Which brings me to #3…..
3. I cannot sleep peacefully without my Husband
I know that sounds just as cheesy as can be, but it is absolutely true! Being away from my Husband left me tossing and turning many nights because you seriously get use to sleeping next to your spouse. I got the best sleep when I would go to South Carolina and visit or when he would come to Georgia to visit me.
4. Stressing only makes it worse
I learned really quickly that stressing about any situation will not change the outcome. It only leaves you with plenty of headaches because in the end, it usually works itself out anyhow.
5. The Truth really does Hurt
You know how you just know something, but yet it doesn’t make sense until you actually see it up close and personal. Well, that is what I experienced a lot in 2013.
6. It’s really okay to say No
I do not have a hard time saying No, but what I do struggle with is saying No to certain people. Last year I was able to say No to some people who I wouldn’t generally say No to and it felt really good. Good enough to do it again if I need to….lol!
7. Crying is not a sign of weakness
I cry. Actually I am a cry baby. You would never know it unless you are family, a bestie(best friend), or my husband. I am that tough girl exterior, but a softy at heart. I always thought letting people know you cry shows that you are weak, but last year that changed. I learned that it is not a sign of weakness. However, crying does help release whatever you have pinned up inside. There were times crying was exactly what I needed and I could just move on to whatever it was that might have been bothering me.
8. The tongue is a mighty weapon.
I am so guilty of speaking before I think. This is just beyond the “Oh, I tell it like it is”. Bottom line……you have to chose your words carefully and every battle is not even worth having. Because if it is going to cause you grief and the party(s) involved, then it was never worth it to begin with. You cannot take back words. People forgive, but it is sometimes hard to forget.
9. Dust yourself Off and Try again.
There is a quote that always stick out in my head by retired basketball player Michael Jordan…..”I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But, I cannot accept not trying again.” It’s okay to keep trying because you will never know if you can, if you do not try.
10. It’s okay to be taken care of.
I am so used to taking care of others that when it is my turn, it actually feels foreign. Well, there were a few times last year, especially the last few weeks of the year that I had to surrender and be taken care of. And it felt good to finally accept that it’s okay.
11. Family and Friendship is important.
Sometimes when you do go through things and having your family there to support you through it, makes a difference. I could not have gotten through some parts of last year without Family and close friends.
12. Write the Vision.
My favorite scripture is Habakkuk 2:2-3.
“Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.”
This has always been my go-to scripture over the last several years. Matter of fact, “Writing the vision” was prophesied to me at the start of the year. For me, seeing it is believing it. If I see it written then I can commit it to memory and believe that it shall come to pass.
13. I will never truly be at peace until I am walking in my God-given talents.
This is something I have known for quite sometime, but last year it was at the height of a lot of issues I was having mentally. My state of mind by the end of the year was that I must push and push until I am exactly where I am supposed to be. We fight for a lot of things and for me, that is what I am fighting for and I will not stop until I am there.
2013 was all about the lessons. 2014 will be about growth. Growing into what was given to me at birth and flourishing into what has already been planned. I welcome 2014 with open arms. 15 days into this new year and I can already see the start of this growth. And the Journey continues……